


Love always wins, right?

by Isabeauu



Series: Values [2]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: Forgiveness, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-18
Updated: 2013-11-18
Packaged: 2018-01-02 00:11:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1050233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isabeauu/pseuds/Isabeauu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Stupidest thing I've ever done. Family should always come first. And for a second there I forgot about that. It still makes me want to slap myself out cold. Stupid fucker."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love always wins, right?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GlitterySparkle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlitterySparkle/gifts).



> GlitterySparkle asked me to write a sequel to "Don't leave, daddy" and it got me thinking. At first I didn't want to because I felt like it was going to ruin the story, but then I got bored and wrote this. I hope I didn't ruin the story entirely, because that's absolutely not what I wanted to do.

Looking up at the church, I sigh and hope for the best, knowing the best won't happen. And especially not today. Because this is not a good day. Not at all. Saying goodbye is never fun, but saying goodbye permanently isn't even a goodbye. It's a farewell, I hope you're in a better place right now. What place that might be, I have no idea, but today is not the day to criticize whatever faith Joshua and his family share.

Mom told me I should just be here for support instead of trying to fix whatever happened earlier this week, which is what I was planning to do in the first place. The talk with management and executives and whatever nameless suit I'd talked to up until now hadn't been pleasant, but it had to happen. Cancelling a weekend of interviews and radio shows isn't something they go over lightly at record labels. They'd said the talk wasn't over and that I shouldn't try doing this twice. My PA told me I'd regret this, professionally, because it's an absolute no go to just cancel the day before you're supposed to leave. The only thing I regret is that I haven't done this exact thing the evening Joshua told me his mother had passed away. I should have cancelled every single thing that was ahead of me in the upcoming month or so, but I didn't, fearing my fucking music career.

Stupidest thing I've ever done. Family should always come first. And for a second there I forgot about that. It still makes me want to slap myself out cold. Stupid fucker.

Jade is the first person that spots me in the crowd, as if she's got a radar to locate someone who wouldn't even be there. I see how a smile spreads across her face, which definitely stands out amongst all the tears, and pull on Joshua's sleeve. It takes three seconds for Joshua to look in my direction and I can literally see him catch his breath. I just hope it's with relief, not with fear of what will happen. I'm only here for support. To give the hugs to make things a little better - if Joshua wants them.

Leaving Jade and Mason, who's also spot me by now, with his sister he walks the couple feet to me.

"Hi", I mumble, and pull him into a comforting hug. Shit, I didn't plan to do this. I quickly let go of him before he has a chance to put his arms around me. If he was planning to in the first place. "I, uh. How're you holding up?"

New tears form in his beautiful eyes. It hurts so much. Shit. It breaks my heart that tiny little more. "Barely", he whispers. And even now his voice hitches and his breath stocks. He seems to collect himself quick enough though, and I hope it's not because he doesn't want to appear weak in front of me. I don't want to realize how much things might have changed in only a couple of days’ time. "Shouldn't you be in Canada?"

"Cancelled it. I'm sorry I didn't in the first place. I - it was stupid." Joshua looks at the ground. "I'd like to talk about it all sometime. But not today. Today's about being here for you and the kids. Unless - uhm."

"It's okay. Thank you for coming." And he breaks down. Tears coming out of dull, broken eyes. Whether it be out of habit or because he wants to, I don't know, but a second later I find him in my arms, sobbing onto my shoulder.

"Oh baby." Automatically my arms go around his shoulders, one hand stroking lightly through his hair. "I'm so sorry." For a minute I let him cry on my shoulder until he pulls himself out of the hug carefully.

"Will you sit with me?"

Yes! "If you’d let me, yes."

"Is it what you want?" He sounds so unsure. It hurts more than ever to realize he's not even sure anymore whether I actually want to be with him. Through everything.

Is this a trick question? "More than ever."

I hope the new tears are happy ones through the tears of pain. "Come on then", he whispers and grabs my hand. "We'll talk later." And we're walking towards the kids, who seem like they have to keep themselves from jumping right in my arms. This must be so confusing for them. Having to say goodbye to their grandmother, but saying hello to their father they've only seen one afternoon in five days’ time. "We really need to talk", I can still hear Joshua say before we reach our two little monsters and they dive right in.

Calming them down, I crouch down so I can return the hugs they're trying desperately to give me. "We missed you, daddy!"

"I missed you two, too, sweetie." I kiss both their cheeks and pull them against me again. When I stand up again, with Mason heavily on my arm and Jade wrapped around my leg, I can see the look Joshua's sister is giving me. But for the sake of everyone's pain and loss she's not saying anything.

\---

"They're asleep." Joshua drops himself on the other couch, immediately hiding his face in his hands, heaving a tired sigh. "Thanks again for coming today. It can’t have been easy."

It wasn't. "I'm sorry it took you throwing me out to realize." The way he looks at me after saying that shows both regret and sadness.

"I shouldn't have done that."

"You had every reason to."

He nods, sighing again. "You were a jackass for not cancelling."

"I know."

"I hated you for it."

Auwtch. "I know."

"But I missed you so fucking much these past couple of days." He stays silent for a second, thinking about his words. Regretting, maybe. "And I hated myself for missing you so much because you didn't deserve it, you know? I hated how much I still love you. I still hate it, but I do. Love you, I mean. I love you so fucking much and I don't want you to leave, Adam, but it hurt so damn much to think about today and knowing you wouldn't be sitting right next to me holding my hand and telling me it'd all be okay."

I'm at loss for words. Are there even words to say at times like this? I think not.

"I never meant to throw you out. I never meant to leave. But then you said you'd leave, and I -" a sob. "I thought it was what you wanted." Crying. Heart wrenching crying right in front of me. And I can't keep still anymore. I move from the couch to where he's sitting and wrap him in my arms.

"Shtt. I'm so sorry, baby. I'm sorry. I love you, too. I love you so damn much."

"I didn't want you to leave."

"I'm sorry."

"But you did. You left, Adam."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"You made it look so easy."

"It wasn't."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I love you. I still do. More than ever. Sorry I fucked up."

“Don’t leave again.”

“I won’t, I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

It’s not over. Far from it. But it’s a start. These are emotions talking, emotions forgiving. It’s been a hard day. Joshua is tired, physically and mentally. He needs to rest and then talk again. We need to figure things out. Things that should’ve been figured out a long, long time ago. But for the first time in five days, I’m confident that we’ll get through whatever it is that ripped us away from the happy family we used to be. But hey, at least we love each other. And love always wins, right? 


End file.
